High School Kitchen
by Phoenyxx
Summary: [Drabble] Battle of the cooks! ‘Kuchiki Rukia’ and the Other Girls vs. Kurosaki Ichigo. Round one, go! “Chad I thought you were on my side!” [AU set after Soul Society arc]


**High School Kitchen**

**Note: **This occurs after the Soul Society arc…And is **AU** from there.

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Bleach. Never have, never will.

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"Uwwaahhh! Kuchiki-chan, you're amazing!"

"Weally?" squealed 'Kuchiki-chan' with too much enthusiasm. She was sparkling in her cute pink apron, holding a mixing bowl in one hand and a rubber spatula in the other.

The female classmate nodded vigorously, "Yes of course!"

Chizuru interrupted with a dramatic flair. "The waffles you made were heavenly, Kuchiki-chan, that is, no offence to your cooking prowess Hime-chan!"

Orihime laughed sweetly, "That's alright. She really did make delicious waffles!"

"Your giggle is so cute Hime-chan-!" Chizuru swooned and gazed at the bright, bubbly teen adoringly.

"In any case," Tatsuki suddenly appeared looming over the group of three, glowering specifically at Chizuru, "I'm surprised, Kuchiki-san, that you managed to cook these waffles so well. You are, after all, partnered with Ichigo."

"Oi. Tatsuki. I'm right here."

Kurosaki Ichigo glared at Tatsuki but the lethality of his glower was easily diluted by his state of appearance. The teen was covered with batter from head to toe due to an...accident.

The raven-haired girl smirked condescendingly at Ichigo, "Just voicing out my opinions."

Chad approached the group, stoic, with a towel in his hand.

Kuchiki-chan giggled, "Ichigo is a silly idiot."

Eyes ablaze in fury, Kurosaki Ichigo waved an angry fist at the shorter girl, effectively splattering more batter onto the kitchen counter, "Just _shut up_ you crazy maniac."

Chad took that moment to hand Ichigo the towel he was holding and Ichigo took it with a nod of thanks.

"Geez, you don't have to get so angry, Kurosaki," shrugged Chizuru as she defended the girl. "From what I witnessed, it really was your own fault."

"My fault?! How was it my fault?!" spat out Ichigo, towel already forgotten. "This-this _girl_ nearly KILLED US ALL! I was doing everyone a _favour_!"

"You're so meeeeaan!" Kuchiki-chan smiled, deviously happy, as she smacked Ichigo on the head.

"ACK!" The waffle batter piled on his head flew every-which-way, easily landing on the surrounding students. "STOP THAT."

"Kurosaki-kun! Are you alright?" asked Orihime worriedly after wiping away the batter obscuring her vision.

Ichigo said a terse 'Yes' before rounding up on Kuchiki-chan. "It's your fault. You never mix waffle batter in a blender!"

"Fwom what I can wemembwer, you were the one who pwessed the power button!" pointed out the Kuchiki triumphantly. "I only wanted to use the bwender as a stowage jug."

Tatsuki grinned. "Like I insinuated before, Ichigo really shouldn't go near the kitchen. He's quite accident-prone." She looked him up and down, snickering at his appearance.

Ichigo scowled at the group of girls, bemoaning silently at the injustice of this 'ganging up' - that was, until the door to the kitchen classroom slid open and Kuchiki Rukia, in her shinigami form, strode in casually.

She gazed at the classroom critically, taking time to notice the extensive amount of batter dripping off of the ceiling and walls. She then turned and Looked at batter-covered Ichigo, who was currently glaring at her, before asking, "So. What did I miss?" Rukia smiled, clearly amused, "I hope you're aware that you have waffle batter all over yourself."

"Rukia-sama!" greeted Kuchiki-chan.

"Oh I'm quite aware," answered Ichigo in a frighteningly calm voice. "And I'm sure you're wondering why."

Rukia rolled her eyes and kicked him across the head. "Oh stop it with the dramatics."

"Hey!" Ichigo scowled at her, rubbing the sore spot on his forehead. Clearly he was ignoring the startled looks from his non-spiritually-tuned-peers, not caring that it seemed as if he was arguing with thin air. "It's your _STUPID_ soul candy that did all this!" He waved his arms at the mess, frustrated.

Kuchiki-chan, also known as Chappy the soul candy, pounced on top of Ichigo and twisted his ears, "Stop fwaming me!"

"…What?" Chizuru looked at the blank spot then at the fighting Kuchiki-chan and Ichigo. "I don't get it…What is Kurosaki yelling at?"

"Ahh-uhmm…We better get back to our cooking station," laughed Orihime nervously before dragging both Tatsuki and Chizuru away. Turning her head slightly, she nodded discretely to Rukia.

Returning Orihime's greeting with a wave of her hand, Rukia stood beside Chad, looking down at the two 'idiots' rolling around on the floor fighting.

"Maybe we should stop them," said Chad.

"Maybe," answered Rukia, equally neutral.

Ichigo screamed, "Stop it! Are you trying to break my legs you crazy – owwww! Ow! I can hear a crack! _I can hear a crack!_"

"Bweak allllllll your bones!" cackled the soul candy in the gigai.

"When I get up I'm going to _kick your ass_!" threatened the orange-haired teen.

"Too bwad! Bone goes craaack!"

"Owwwwwww-!" yelled Ichigo as he squirmed. He glowered angrily at his friends. "Chad! Rukia! Don't just stand there; get this crazy bitch off me!"

"Idiots," sighed Rukia. "Chappy, get off of him."

"Of couwse Rukia-sama!"

"…About time…" Ichigo, from his vantage on the floor, glared at the figure towering above him.

Rukia re-entered her gigai, the green soul candy ejecting safely into her hand. "Must you make a scene?"

"_Shut up!_" His frustration mounting, Ichigo got up and stormed out of the classroom, trailing batter with every step.

The whole class watched him leave, hiding their laughter behind hands.

"What's the matter with him?" Rukia asked, turning towards Chad who had remained silent as Ichigo left. "Other than the humiliating defeat at the hands of my Chappy of course…Something seems to be bothering him."

"…I think he's jealous-" Chad pointed towards the soul candy in her hand, "-that a soul candy can make better waffles than him."

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**End**

I think I want to write another 'Chappy drives Ichigo up the wall' story. This was fun.

Spyrit


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